Your smart home is not smart. It is just very, very observant. I did not buy a smart speaker because I wanted a friend. I bought it because it was on sale for $29.99 and it promised to play rain sounds on command. For two years she lived on my kitchen counter. She set timers for pasta. She told me the weather with the aggressive optimism of someone who has never paid rent. She was helpful. She was ambient. She was furniture that could hear. And then one night at 2:17 a.m., she lit u...