Teams keep switching from Scrum to Kanban to Shape Up looking for the methodology that will finally fix them — but the switch itself has become the ritual. Picture a Monday morning standup that has drifted, over 18 months, into a 45-minute status theater. The Scrum board is updated. The sprint velocity is reported. The retrospective three days from now will surface the same three complaints it surfaced last quarter. The Scrum Master types notes nobody reads. And somewhere in the building...