Every LLM endpoint's landing page says fast, reliable, compatible, secure. Those words are free. This is the list of questions that aren't free — the ones where the answer takes a vendor real work to be able to give, and where you can verify the answer yourself in an afternoon. Disclosure up front: I work on daoxe , a multi-model gateway. At the end I run this checklist against it, and two rows don't pass. That's the point of publishing it — a checklist that flatters whoever wrote it isn't...